I stepped on a slug in the middle of the night.
It was dark, and S's big orange grub of a cat wanted to go out on his nightly prowl.
Three in the morning. I didn't turn on any lights, I never do. I like to hone my spider-sense (and usually there's enough light from the neighbor's porch lamp to see any obstacles that might cause stubbed-toes). After drinking some water with cat grubkin rubbing against my legs, I knelt at the sliding door to undo the security latch.
*Squish*
Oh the horror.
It was on the little rug where I feed the dogs, had probably ridden in on the bottom of the dog-water bowl which goes outside during the day.
Three in the morning, black as pitch, enormous annoying cat nearly knocking me over in his excitement to get outside, and slug slime slathering in between my toes.
What could I do? I closed my eyes and prayed the day would only get better.