1.12.2005

Sorry I have been a while. Thank you all for your vigilance and continued interest, and those who have come to peruse for the first time, I hope you'll return.

My dalliance has wandered. Dilly dally zilly zally such a lover of nonsense am I. I've been making scarves and hats with fuzzy yarn and a hook. French knitting, crocheting, it's a bunch of loopsy loops. I have been experimenting with different patterns, different textures, and am almost out of all the raw wool I purchased last June. It smells of lanolin and feels soft against my fingers as I work it. It's nice long fibered stuff, not too scratchy. I love to combine it with those silly fringe yarns. My favorite scarf is one in which I combined some dark brown lincoln wool with black fringe and it looks like something dead, like mink or beaver fur. It is super warm. The black fuzzies tickle but not too much.

I'm also the new editor of a small regional publication for the local dance guild, and my deadline is February 1st, so yes I am busy right now. I have one friend and my dear patient husband helping me, but it is taking much of my time and effort. Not that I am complaining. My only complaints involve a complete lack of information forthcoming from the previous editor, regarding advertisements (how much to charge, that sort of essential thing...), printing cost, etc etc. She told me, "Oh well, I had to make it all up from scratch, and since my computer just crashed, I am afraid you will, too." Huzzah.

The days have gone speeding past fast like the tiny little birds that crapped all over my car. It looks like snow. Confetti poop. But this being Oregon and prone to wet weather I rest assured it will all be washed away by the next rain. And I'll do better to make record of what transpires in the days and weeks ahead.

I've been dancing like a fool, since my class started on Saturday. I reworked the lesson plan and added more stretching and strength-building exercises, and spent much time considering what, exactly, are the most basic movements for belly dance. I've comprised a list that includes horizontal slides, vertical and diagonal lifts, and undulations. The class was fantastic; the energy level was amazing and everybody was smiling and sweating at the end. I have three repeating students and four more who have taken dance classes before, and so I was able to really work them hard on Saturday because they're all about the same level of ability and experience. It was gratifying. Unfortunately, I believe I need a total of eight students, or else the community college will cancel the class. I might try renting the studio space on my own. I really love teaching.

My dance instructor is here for only one more month before she returns to Cairo and the other half of her life. I will miss her very much. She has studies and performances in Egypt far away under the sun. Each time she returns from her studies and performances she seems even more sculpted and brilliant, a creature of desert wind and heat. She is always still my dance instructor and friend, but she is also this exotic rare gem, serpentine and wilder than most. Some day I think I would like to go with her.

Our eight year anniversary is coming in two weeks. I look at S and can't believe it has been eight years, the time has gone too quickly, and the years blur together, but I also think about all we've done, and those memories bring me joy. I love him. I think before I met him I didn't know what love was supposed to feel like. It is supposed to feel good, not uncomfortable, or anxious, or jealous. I believe if you look for it, you will find it. Happiness is possible. Believe in you.