Last night S & I went to Sam Bond's with Tebone and JJ for wine and to listen to the hillbilly music, no cover, anyone can play.
They all come out of the woodwork.
Those guys really jam. Old guy in the middle playing upright bass, accompanied by a bunch of banjo fiddle ukulele players inspiring us to hoedown.
JJ and my girlfriend R had never met, but really hit it off and we three sat there giggling and commiserating and railing against injustice and talking about God and women and music and women and wine and women.
We got started on said topics because R is a lecherous honey who appreciates the female form. She prefers men, but likes to look at women. And she was looking at JJ, who is very tall and dark with lots and lots of dark brown hair. She's pretty in a porcelain doll way, and once confided with embarrassment after numerous glasses of wine that she had been Miss Teen Texas the year I graduated from high school.
Last night we girls all sat at one table and the men sat at another table and we had much more fun than they did. Aside from S & Tebone there were some other musician guys, one I had met before, and one who crushed the living bones and blood vessels out of my hand when he shook it.
Now, I play musical instruments, I garden, I have strong hands. I even have some callouses. I also know how to shake hands. My father taught me how to have a strong but relaxed grip, and taught me how to position my hand so as to avoid people who do not know how to shake hands in polite society.
Fellows, it is one thing to show a woman how nice and strong your hand is when you meet her, so she might entertain certain thoughts about you and those hands, and it is an other thing entirely to cause her pain. If she has on rings, especially big turquoise and silver rings, do not crush all her fingers together so she has indentations on three separate fingers from one ring. Do not hang on with a painfully tight grip and then give a little squeeze at the end to prove you have strength in reserve. And do not wiggle the bone of her pinky knuckle like it's sime twisted suggestion, not when you first meet a woman, not even if you think she's cute, not when you have a death grip on her hand, and especially not when her husband is standing right next to her. It does nothing but cause discomfort. And maybe a little pity.
It certainly does not have the desired effect. Sorry, Charlie. It especially will not work, not with any of the girls, not even with R, who is single, because the girls are busy talking about women, and you with your boring musicians goatee and plain grey shirt and skinny legs are not as pretty as the girl with a tattoo on the small of her back or as interesting as the chick with dred locks and you don't look like you'd be as much fun as the sunburnt barmaid with pigtails and converse allstars.
Besides, your handshake indicates desperation, and especially in a bar, desperation in a skinny legged musician who crushes hands rather than shaking them is a most unattractive thing.
Go back to your table. This table is for girls only.
They all come out of the woodwork.
Those guys really jam. Old guy in the middle playing upright bass, accompanied by a bunch of banjo fiddle ukulele players inspiring us to hoedown.
JJ and my girlfriend R had never met, but really hit it off and we three sat there giggling and commiserating and railing against injustice and talking about God and women and music and women and wine and women.
We got started on said topics because R is a lecherous honey who appreciates the female form. She prefers men, but likes to look at women. And she was looking at JJ, who is very tall and dark with lots and lots of dark brown hair. She's pretty in a porcelain doll way, and once confided with embarrassment after numerous glasses of wine that she had been Miss Teen Texas the year I graduated from high school.
Last night we girls all sat at one table and the men sat at another table and we had much more fun than they did. Aside from S & Tebone there were some other musician guys, one I had met before, and one who crushed the living bones and blood vessels out of my hand when he shook it.
Now, I play musical instruments, I garden, I have strong hands. I even have some callouses. I also know how to shake hands. My father taught me how to have a strong but relaxed grip, and taught me how to position my hand so as to avoid people who do not know how to shake hands in polite society.
Fellows, it is one thing to show a woman how nice and strong your hand is when you meet her, so she might entertain certain thoughts about you and those hands, and it is an other thing entirely to cause her pain. If she has on rings, especially big turquoise and silver rings, do not crush all her fingers together so she has indentations on three separate fingers from one ring. Do not hang on with a painfully tight grip and then give a little squeeze at the end to prove you have strength in reserve. And do not wiggle the bone of her pinky knuckle like it's sime twisted suggestion, not when you first meet a woman, not even if you think she's cute, not when you have a death grip on her hand, and especially not when her husband is standing right next to her. It does nothing but cause discomfort. And maybe a little pity.
It certainly does not have the desired effect. Sorry, Charlie. It especially will not work, not with any of the girls, not even with R, who is single, because the girls are busy talking about women, and you with your boring musicians goatee and plain grey shirt and skinny legs are not as pretty as the girl with a tattoo on the small of her back or as interesting as the chick with dred locks and you don't look like you'd be as much fun as the sunburnt barmaid with pigtails and converse allstars.
Besides, your handshake indicates desperation, and especially in a bar, desperation in a skinny legged musician who crushes hands rather than shaking them is a most unattractive thing.
Go back to your table. This table is for girls only.
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