S caught me blubbering in the kitchen listening to a sad song last night. He's a good one to hold. Doesn't care if I get tears and drool and snot on his shirt. He's big and strong enough and he just quietly buffers my shaking. Made me go outside with him & look at flowers, snack on strawberries and blueberries, which were very tempting but not quite ripe enough to pick. He asked me why I was listening to sad songs, and I think it's because sad songs provide a framework for contemplating hard things never before encountered. And it's good to hear someone else has had such pain and loss in their hearts; makes it one of those things everyone feels.
Not that it makes it any easier.